OLBlog

Time invested in your personal growth is an investment in your success. Improve your emotional intelligence by practicing these eight things.

To become a standout success, invest in yourself. The broader your investment, the more fit you become for sustaining your entrepreneurial journey. You can only grow your career to the extent that you develop yourself. The good news is, time invested in your own personal growth is entirely under your control. You will either do it and standout or not. To follow are some simple ways to expand both your intellectual and emotional intelligence capacities.

1. Expand your horizons.

Extending your points of view opens the world to you by acquainting you with the likelihood. Novel encounters welcome the new into your life. The original endowments you with different meetings which immeasurably increment your insight. The mind reacts to new things by making new neural pathways. Each new path ends up noticeably more grounded with reiteration giving us new aptitudes and qualities. Hence, you ought to dependably endeavor to be slightly outside your usual range of familiarity. This can be proficient effortlessly. You can visit new places, take an alternate course to the workplace, or even brush your teeth with your non-prevailing hand. The mind is conformed to propensities. The more unbending and habituated you are the harder it is to adapt to change. Whatever is normal in your life really shields you from developing in the ways you could if you did only a couple of things a bit distinctively every day. Blend elements up to prepare yourself to flourish in new routes, with unique individuals, and in new conditions.

2. Be Imaginative.

All achievement starts with envisioned results, openings, and potential outcomes. The more inventive you enable yourself to be, the more open you are to making creative and compelling critical thinking methods, conceptualizing abilities and systems administration aptitudes. The more visionary, the all the more notable your progress toward becoming the capacity to draw motivation from all zones of life at whatever point the need presents itself. This kind of innovativeness gives you a certainty that causes you massively whether you're in your day to day life or when this expertise ends up noticeably valuable in your business life. Individuals will realize that you are the individual to go to when new and imaginative thoughts are essential to get things moving in another and better bearing. Innovativeness is the critical characteristic you should be a wise trailblazer. There is no such thing as "not imaginative." You all have it, and not exclusively does a little innovativeness increment the enthusiasm you have for what you do, yet it can likewise make the most repetitive work more engaging.

Also read:
5 Ways To Measure The Emotional Intelligence Of Your Boss
How to train your emotional intelligence to become more productive

3. Pleasure reading.

Achievement isn't just essential to take a stab at, yet is the fundamental need for Entrepreneurs, to such an extent, that a significant number of you neglect to have some good times, to unwind and decompress. Self-improvement doesn't generally mean you have your nose in a type of a course book. Perusing when all is said in done, paying little mind to the substance, is marvelous for your cerebrum. Regardless of whether it's a murder secret, fiction, your most loved verse or a games magazine, perusing empowers your creative procedure. Without your cognizant exertion, your cerebrum is making an interpretation of the words into pictures that play like a motion picture in your brain. Perusing offers you a reprieve, places you into a different universe and makes a passionate association amongst yourself and the words on the paper. All of you require some an opportunity to get away. On the off chance that you can't a get-away, perusing a book is an excellent substitute. Further, perusing builds your vocabulary furnishes your cerebrum with cases of right language structure and causes you end up noticeably a superior peruser and essayist as well as more significantly a more other-focused communicator.

4. Train your brain.

There are various simple to-get-tightly to strategies to keep your mind sharp. There are many words confuse applications and different applications like Luminosity that are free on your cell phone that give amusements and critical thinking procedures intended to build the neuroplasticity of your cerebrum. Neuroplasticity is the cerebrum's capacity to frame new neural associations empowering you to work at a more elevated amount. The greater neuroplasticity your mind has, the speedier it makes new relationships and the snappier and all the more successfully you process data. Making awesome progress comes down to basic leadership, but then so few prepare their mind for this every day.

5. Consistently learn.

There is continually a comment learn. Never be above instruction. Be energetic about getting and growing new abilities and data. To end up noticeably a fruitful Entrepreneur, you should dependably be scanning for what is new and what isn't yet wholly comprehended on the bleeding edges of your industry. When you proceed with your instruction, it is lowering to get a handle on how much there still is to know. The more you take in, the more set you up progress toward becoming for fantastic strategizing. The more learning you secure, the more data you have access to you when settling on basic choices. Realizing is the thing that develops your certainty. It is the thing that builds your aptitude base and adds to your ability. It is additionally what enables you to work more astute not merely harder. Continuously accept there is more you have to learn and you will encounter an immediate and evident increment in your capacity to accomplish.

6. Physical activity.

Physical activity shows signs of improvement shape, as well as it gives you a higher working mind. The mind reacts best when it is brimming with oxygen. When you give your mind the oxygen-help it needs from work out, it enhances your memory, supports your capacity to center, and forestalls intellectual decay. Without work out, your brain can't take in new data or produce the improvement of new cells. The fastest and most proficient approach to wind up noticeably more astute, less pushed, not so far discouraged but rather more lively is to get your body moving.

7. Get enough sleep.

Research has demonstrated that when you place yourself into lack of sleep, not exclusively does it put your execution in risk yet it impacts every other person around you that relies upon you to perform at your pinnacle. Bounteous examinations have demonstrated that lack of sleep is the absolute opposite of smart administration. Working all day and all night makes you as risky to yourself as well as other people as somebody who is inebriated. Getting enough rest decides your capacity to manage consideration and keep up scholarly magnificence. It is such a straightforward activity, but then so few teach themselves to deal with what is explicitly under their control that can have a tremendous effect on their life and achievement. Try not to give this a chance to be you.

8. How you dress.

What you wear has been demonstrated to directly affect improving your insight. The "Stroop Test" shown that individuals who wore lab coats performed preferred on mental execution tests over those in the control bunch who did not wear the protective outer layer. There is control in a uniform. Grasp that it is so critical to dress for the expert part you play. For one, how you dress puts forth an immediate expression to you about your identity and what your prosperity potential is. When you dress for your part, you perform for your part. Besides, how you dress immediately affects how others see you and your scholarly limit. The more you dress for the event, the more important you will feel and the all the more honestly you will be taken. The mind reacts not to just to information but rather likewise to temperament. When you dress better, you can rest easy. The more you hoist your mindset, the more open, adaptable and astute you feel and are experienced by others while arranging, collaborating with partners or while introducing yourself to a gathering of individuals. Thus, dress to impress.

There’s no single hack for improving your team’s collective emotional intelligence. As a manager, it’s the small habits you perform and encourage that ripple outward.


Getting smart people into your company is hard enough. Turning them all into great collaborators and risk-takers is even more difficult. Even on the most high-performing teams, coworkers don’t just openly share feedback and challenge each others’ ideas all on their own–managers need to create a culture that encourages this. And that usually requires building your team’s collective emotional intelligence. Here are a few straightforward (and entirely low-tech ways) to get started.

1. BEGIN ON DAY ONE

A team’s work culture determines the parameters within which everybody on it interacts–what’s acceptable, expected, and imaginable. But that culture can subtly change depending on the team’s composition. When someone leaves or somebody new gets hired, you’ve got to reset those parameters to make sure everybody is still operating according to the values and ideals you’d like them to.

So as a manager, make it explicit to every new hire–from their first day in the office–that they should feel free to challenge ideas at all levels. In fact, emphasize that that’s what’s expected of them. Scott Kelly, chief human resource officer of Hitachi Data Systems, says that “from day one on the job, new employees are not just encouraged but expected to be self-starters with a solution-oriented mindset.”

Sure, just about every job listing includes high-flying language like that, but very few managers actually follow through by reiterating this crucial expectation once they fill those open positions.

2. INVITE YOUR TEAM TO CHALLENGE YOU

The freedom to question the status quo and bring up new ideas can make the way for building interpersonal connections that every emotionally intelligent person needs. But it has to start at the top. Not only do team members need to feel comfortable interacting with each other, but they need to share that same level of trust with their leaders.

That’s why managers have to model the behavior they’re trying to promote. If your employees notice you hesitate to share your own opinions or see you flinch when they question your approach, they won’t be willing to take the risk of doing so. You need to actively seek out perspectives that differ from yours, then act on them (rather than just paying lip service). This will let everyone know that it’s okay to challenge you and each other.

3. TURN REGULAR FEEDBACK INTO A HABIT

One of the best ways to encourage emotional intelligence on your whole team is to lower the stakes of giving and receiving performance feedback. The more you trade notes on how things are and share challenging ideas, the less defensive you’re all likely to get around criticism. The feedback that’s reserved for meetings or for other occasions just for that purpose sends the message that constructive critique isn’t the norm for your team.

So commit to doing it regularly and continuously, during one-on-one meetings and other informal opportunities around the workplace. When feedback and ideas are bounced around frequently and openly, it gives people the confidence to share, challenge, and speak out. Soon they’ll just come to see it as just the way things are done around here.

4. REWARD INITIATIVE, NOT JUST WINS

One of the easiest ways to keep your team members feeling isolated and emotionally closed off to one another is to create a sense of fear around taking risks and failing. You might not think you’re doing that as a manager, but this type of culture can creep in unwittingly if you aren’t careful. You run this risk anytime your team members make a gamble and fail, and then pay some sort of penalty as a result–or even just perceive themselves to.

So it never hurts to err in the opposite direction. Heap praise and appreciation for people who give their best effort. Anyone on your team who tries something new deserves acknowledgment, even if things don’t wind up going as well as expected. Instead of wallowing in failure, the most emotionally intelligent teams know how to scrutinize it for lessons that can help them succeed next time. But this, too, takes practice and has to start from the top. Rewarding initiative rather than successes gives people the green light to take risks they’d otherwise feel too vulnerable to try.

5. SHARE OWNERSHIP OF OUTCOMES (GOOD, BAD, AND MIDDLING)

Finally, cultivating your whole team’s emotional intelligence requires accountability. You need everyone to take ownership and credit when things go well, but you also need them to take responsibility when things go awry. The old, top-down management model never left much room for this degree of accountability. When things went wrong, the boss who’d given the orders was ultimate to blame for the whole team’s missteps.

But as hierarchies flatten and the interpersonal skills among all contributors become more decisive, a much more distributed sense of ownership is no longer optional. As a leader, you can encourage that by openly and publicly sharing credit for decisions that worked well and acknowledging your role when things go off the rails. Taking responsibility from the top down can encourage everyone on your team to do the same.

Developing an open, safe, trusting workplace where everyone feels free to challenge and share their ideas depends on a high degree of emotional intelligence on all sides. Without it, your team members won’t be self-aware enough to know how they come across to others. They won’t be able to empathize or listen to each other, or find ways to improve their skills individually or as a group. But for managers, changing that starts by adopting a few good habits, then modeling them continuously for their teams. Stick with it, and you’ll have a powerful group of collaborators who know how to pull together as a unit, even when the going gets tough.

When leaders possess sufficient emotional qualities, there is naturally an interpersonal attunement that facilitates teamwork.

Workers at the orders of leaders more emotionally intelligent are more productive and have better health than those with "mediocre" leaders who, in addition to work -related stress can increase the risk of employees suffering from hypertension or heart attack.

The good leader must not lose touch with the emotional currents that move the teams. Thus he will be able to detect the influence of his decisions and capture the feelings expressed and articulate them for the benefit of the team.

A leader of this type must exercise leadership should seek to get the most out of the emotional capacities of the different individuals that make up a particular team, to establish a proper interrelation.

The emotional intelligence is not innate. It is true that one may have some predisposition to demonstrate some of these capacities but, without a doubt, the strengths of resonant leadership are acquired. No leader, no matter how outstanding, is strong in all the competencies that make up the core areas of emotional intelligence. If you want to be a leader capable of fully developing all of these skills, there are five key elements that you must acquire or enhance.

1. Self-awareness

Have an in-depth understanding of our emotions, strengths, weaknesses, needs and impulses. People with strong self-consciousness are not too critical nor do they have unrealistic hopes. Rather, they are honest with themselves and with others.

Those with a high degree of self-awareness recognize how their feelings affect themselves, others, and work performance. Thus, a shy person who knows that the deadlines awaken the worst of himself, he plans his time carefully and does his work beforehand. Also, you will be able to work together with a demanding client. You will understand the impact of this on your temperament and the important reasons for your frustrations. Such a person will know that "the trivial demands of the client separate us from the actual work that must be carried out." He will go one step further and shift his fury towards something more constructive.

Self-awareness extends to each person's understanding of their values and goals. A highly self-aware person knows where he is headed and why, and is, therefore, able to be firm in declining a tempting job offer in the financial aspect that is not in line with his long-term goals and principles. How can one recognize self-consciousness? 
First, it is presented as an unwillingness and ability to evaluate yourself realistically. People with high self-awareness are able to talk openly and accurately about their emotions and the impact they have on their work.

2. Self-regulation

The biological impulses of self-regulation drive our emotions. We can not leave them aside, but we can do much to manage them. Self-regulation, which is like a constant internal conversation, is the component of emotional intelligence that frees us from being prisoners of our feelings. Those who are committed to this conversation feel moody and emotional impulses, but find a way to control and channel them in a useful way.

An executive who possesses the gift of self-regulation, faced with the failure of his team in a presentation to the board of directors of the company, does not react with anger and frustration. On the contrary, it is able to face the situation successfully.

A leader with this quality would carefully choose his words, recognize the group's poor performance, but without making any rash judgments. Then he would reflect on the reasons for failure. Then he would call the whole team, expose the consequences of the incident and present his feelings in the face of the event, ending everything by giving an analysis of the problem and a convenient solution.

3. Motivation

Those who have the potential to be leaders are motivated by a deep-seated desire to achieve, by the very fact of making them. If you are looking for leaders, how can you distinguish those who are motivated by the drive for achievement and those who are motivated by external rewards? The first sign is a passion for work itself: these people are looking for creative challenges, they love to learn, and they pride themselves on the job well done. They also display tireless energy to make things better.

People with this kind of energy often seem impatient with the status quo. They are very persistent with questions about why things are done one way and not the other; And are eager to explore new approaches in their work. This story illustrates two other characteristic qualities of achievement-oriented people.

They always want to increase their level of performance and always want to have records of that level. During performance evaluations, individuals with high motivation often ask their superiors to demand more. Of course, an employee who combines self-awareness with internal motivation will recognize its limits, but it will not do so for goals that are too easy to meet.

4. Empathy

Of all the dimensions of emotional intelligence, empathy is the easiest to recognize. But when it comes to business, it is rarely heard that people are praised or rewarded for their insight. The word itself seems remote from the life of business and out of place amid the harsh realities of the market. But empathy has nothing to do with that "I'm fine, you're fine" style sentimentality.

For a leader, empathy does not mean adopting the emotions of others as their own and trying to please everyone. This would be a nightmare and would make the action impossible. On the contrary, empathy means considering the feelings of employees, along with other factors, in the process of making smart decisions.

5. Social Skills

Social skills are not as simple as they seem. It's not just a matter of being friendly, even though people with high levels of social skills are rarely. On the contrary, social skill is friendship with a purpose: to lead people to the direction they want, be it an agreement for a new marketing strategy or enthusiasm for a new product.

People with social skills tend to have a wide circle of acquaintances and have a knack for arousing sympathy. This means that they work on the assumption that nothing significant can be done alone. These people have a public network ready to be activated when needed.

Sometimes social ability manifests itself in ways different from that of the other components of emotional intelligence. For example, it can sometimes be thought that people with social skills do nothing in their work. They seem rather be chatting in the corridors with colleagues, rather than being connected with their real jobs. 

These people think that it makes no sense to arbitrarily limit the scope of their relationships. They have extensive ties because they know that in these times they may need the help of people who begin to understand.

Emotional intelligent people often don't know how to use this ability on the job and how to improve emotional intelligence in the workplace. 

In very successful people, it is always apparent that not only has their intelligence brought them so far. It is rather their Emotional Intelligence. 

Why, Marissa Levin, founder and managing director of "Successful Culture" knows this. Your company advises entrepreneurs on issues related to management strategies and growth. 

"The participants in my courses are all directors of multimillion dollar companies and have very high emotional intelligence (EQ)," writes Levin in a guest contribution to the magazine "Inc.".

A widespread problem, however, is that although most people know the characteristics of emotional intelligence, they simply do not know how to use them. "Knowing what to do is not the same as it really is to do," commented Levin.

These six tips are easy to use and can help you actually play your emotional intelligence - especially in stressful situations: 

1. Write a kind of diary

If everything is as you imagine it, the application of emotional intelligence is not really an act of force. 

Just then you should take a moment to think about situations that evoke negative emotions in you. Write down her and work out a strategy on how to deal with such circumstances - positive, intelligent and capable.

Levin advises: "Read your records regularly so you can be prepared and put them into practice." 

2. Practicing to remain calm

Self-reflection is not easy for most people. However, it is a natural part of emotional intelligence. 

Even if it is difficult: Observe how you behave in challenging situations. Think actively about your reactions. Do you tend to be loud in stressful moments? Are you bitchy, unkind, unfair?

"Count up to 10 or close your eyes for a moment and take a deep breath. This helps you control your emotions, so they do not control you, "writes Levin.

Remember that an adverse reaction in stressful situations only aggravates the situation. It also affects your relationship with other people - even when the moment has passed. 

3. Works on a positive attitude

Successful leaders are characterized by their optimism. This also contributes significantly to emotional intelligence. 

A positive attitude not only helps you maintain a clear head when it becomes difficult. It also ensures that your challenges are easier to understand than opportunities. 

Levin knows, "as leaders, they are aware that their own responses influence the behavior of others when confronted with difficulties." 

4. Put yourself in the position of someone else

Work on your empathy. It is, of course, easy to represent your own position actually. This alone is not enough to be successful.

"Emotional intelligent leaders always consider how decisions and situations affect others," writes Levin. 

Empathy is the key to convincing other people to you. It gives them the feeling that something is in their mind, satisfaction and personal success. Individuals who have this attitude pay back this attention in the form of their support. 

5. Pay attention to the body language

Body language is an important means by which you can underline your words. If you insert them incorrectly, you quickly send the wrong signals. 

Are you clapping your arms or let your eyes wander when someone talks to you? Even if your words assert something else: this shows clearly how you really think about a situation. 

To learn to use body language correctly and to read gives you a significant advantage on the way to success. If you carefully observe your fellow human beings and appreciate their facial expressions and gestures, you can better assess how your opponent really feels. 
"This gives you the possibility to react appropriately," writes Levin. 

6. Practice gratitude

In professional as well as in private everyday stress, she often goes under gratitude for what we have and what others do for us.

Successful people, who have high emotional intelligence, consciously practice them. By showing your thanks and appreciation, you automatically increase the loyalty of the people around you. 

"It lists the people in your environment that you are attentive and are interested in them," says Levin. Never forget that others will contribute to your own success. Appreciate their dedication and what they do for you - even if they are trifles.

Social intelligence is the ability of a person to understand, deal with and get along with the people around him. It is what makes a person able to have a thousand friends willing to face him, or have no one to count with. It is what causes a man to be magnetic for women or, on the contrary, a total neglected when it comes to interacting. And, it is also what makes a person a top seller or speaker, or a failure in business and his ability to express himself in public.

That is, Social Intelligence is the part of our intelligence that is used to interact effectively with the people around us.

Someone with a highly developed Social Intelligence is a person capable of understanding and intuiting what people feel at any moment, what they need, how they behave and what they expect from us. Politicians, speakers, great seducers, great salesmen, teachers who make us love what they teach, influential businessmen, etc. are people with a high social intelligence.

Let's say that social intelligence is the ability to maximize our relationship with people, getting the best out of them, generating the minimum level of rejection and getting the best results from them.
Some essential tools to have a real social intelligence are:

• Empathy.
• The leadership.
• Verbal intelligence.
• Emotional intelligence (which we will see in the next article, but so, in short, can be summarized as the ability to manage emotions well).
• Assertiveness.
• Know how to listen and pay attention.
• Be good analyzing the nonverbal language of people.
• Be good psychoanalyzing people and reading between the lines when they speak to us.
• Manage physical contact well.
• Interpret correctly the social situations that happen around us together. For example: differentiate if a group of people is going to stick, another who is celebrating a birthday. And in less extreme and obvious cases, be able to spin thin and quickly realize what is happening around us.
• Dress well and correctly for each situation, projecting the best of us and what we want in each moment.

Social intelligence is by far the most useful skill to succeed in life. If we manage to treat the people around us, we will succeed in professional relationships, friends, business, sexual partners, family, etc. And few things can value a woman more than the fact of being with a socially brilliant man.

Emotional intelligence could be defined as the ability of a person to manage, understand, select and work their emotions and those of others with efficiency and generating positive results.

That is, it is the ability to manage emotions well. Both ours and those of others.
A person who gets angry quickly, who becomes sad often or who is not able to control their impulses is someone with bad emotional intelligence. On the contrary, a person who knows himself well, who is capable of thinking before acting, who understands his impulses. Who expresses them with education being sincere but, at the same time, managing to not negatively affect the people who surround or is able to relativize and feel things in a healthy way would be an individual with excellent emotional intelligence.

Also, Emotional Intelligence must serve to understand the emotions of others and know how to treat the people around us so that:

Be on our side.

Do not provoke unpleasant emotions in them (anger, sadness, frustration, etc.). That is to say to have a left hand in the time to put the things.
Someone with real emotional intelligence should be able to apply the following things:

Think before you act and not drift and "crazy" before doing things. This does not mean that the moment is not lived or that it is not enjoyed. This means that emotions and reason go hand in hand. You have to enjoy it, but you also have to be able to use intelligence and analyze emotions, especially when it comes to anger, sadness or frustration.

Be empathic to understand, respect and manage the emotions of others, making the people around us at ease.

Know how to choose the emotions well at all times, so that our behavior is optimal. If, before a critic, we are offended and angry, we are accepting appalling emotions. If on the contrary, we stop to think, we analyze the behavior of the other person, listen, understand their point of view. 

We read between the lines and realize that the problem has been that in our previous argument we have offended ourselves to him/her, then it will be much better to apologize and suggest that next time tells us things otherwise. It is not a matter of giving in, it is a matter of handling the situation efficiently. That is, causing the least damage. And anger is usually the emotion that MORE damage generates.

Manage, know and control negative emotions well, especially when it comes to anger, sadness, frustration and anxiety/stress.
To live a life with a high degree of motivation and optimism, growing in the face of adversity, instead of coming down.

Be happy.

Emotional intelligence, in the end, must pursue inner peace and happiness. Because the only thing that determines our happiness is the emotions. If our feelings are great, our lives will go great. If our emotions are fatal, our perception of life will be depressing, and failure.

Real Emotional Intelligence is IMPERATIVE to be useful and attractive to a woman. Reactivity is still a result of a bad emotional intelligence, and we know that it is something wrong for our Internal and External Game.
A woman needs to be brilliant emotionally and that they are aware how to adapt to every situation, problem, and adversity in life, with integrity, optimism, and efficiency.

Manipulation is a phenomenon that, in one way or another, has touched us all very carefully. And emotional manipulators are incredibly talented liars. It is fair to recognize that perhaps at some point we have assumed the role of manipulators, even without being fully aware of it. Although there are also times when we have been manipulated.

Do not let anyone else determine your feelings.

You may also be manipulated

Maybe you already had something to do with him, or maybe he is even one of your best friends: an emotional manipulator. People who consciously play with the feelings of their fellow human beings and manipulate them as they please. 

We all let ourselves be influenced by the feelings of our fellow human beings. If your partner had a bad day, for example, you probably have a much worse mood or vice versa, you can save him with your good mood. Even the feelings of your friends, colleagues or your boss can have a significant influence on you.

Unfortunately, many people use this power to manipulate you. They change your perception, and in the worst case, they will doubt your mind.

Often, however, we do not realize that we are dealing with such manipulators and simply let our feelings steer from them. There are simple signs where you can recognize them. Travis Bradberry, writer and expert on emotional intelligence, she showed in a guest contributor for "Entrepreneur."

You can recognize an emotional manipulation on these nine signs:

They are good liars

They tell you about things that have never actually happened or deny things that have happened. They do so believably that you often doubt yourselves and only buy the lies from them. In this way, for example, they want to awaken your compassion, make themselves stand in a good light and change your perception. 

If you feel that you are being lied, you should try to expose the liar. Ask him, look for inconsistencies or ask others if they can confirm a story. Of course, anyone can be wrong or have something else in mind when it actually happened, so you should not be too hasty with some accusations.

They are too open

Although you do not know each other so well, they tell you about very personal things or even trust your secrets. You should be careful because maybe you want to create a confidence base as quickly as possible so that you can tell them all your  personal stories and secrets. They will then use them against you.

So you should not trust anyone prematurely, but first create a foundation, so that you know that you can trust a person also really.

You know your weaknesses - and use them against you

They know where to push them, so you're really hurt. If you are uncertain about your appearance, comment on the choice of your clothes or what you order at the restaurant.

Instead of helping you feel better, try to make your life harder and strengthen your uncertainties.

What they say and what they do are two entirely different things

They tell you exactly what you want to hear, but ultimately just do what suits them. Instead of being honest and telling you from the start that they do not share your opinion, they just show you their support - although you will not get it.

If something happens to you for the first time, you may not be able to see it and do not mind. But once again you should not fall for it with the same person, but ask her from the beginning.

You play with your conscience

No matter what you do, an emotional manipulator will make you feel bad. If you argue it is your fault and even if you only tell of a problem, you are to blame for it.

That you feel sorry, then use them to their advantage, to get exactly what they want. Your feelings are basically irrelevant to them.

Your feelings become your feelings

If it's not good for you, it's not good for you, and when you're angry, you're furious too - you have complete control over your emotions.

Thus they awaken your sympathy and ensure that their  problems of them want to solve, even though they have nothing to do with you.

They're talking your problems small

When you speak about your problems, they make you feel bad. Because after all, they are much worse and they always have exactly the same problem as you - only that, of course, is much worse than yours. They always pull you into a comparison and give you the feeling of being ungrateful, a nag, or a lament.

They play the victim roll

The whole world has conspired against them, and they are never guilty of anything. Basically, they simply do not take responsibility for their mistakes. They always blame the blame on others and most preferably on you. 

They are helpful - but they are not

If you ask them for help, they will be there quickly, but if it really is that they have to help you, they will act as if it were an enormous additional burden that they have to bear on your account.

Although they have assured you of their help without problems, they moan and moan about how much work they have for you. To save you this time, you should not ask her the next time.

You can do that

Do these signs apply to one or more people you know? Then you should try to establish an emotional distance to them. Do not try to catch a profound friendship with them, but remain with them on a true, neutral level.

Learn to perceive your feelings in a differentiated way and try to make you always clear where the emotions come from - or from your own influence?

Detects the behavior patterns of a manipulator and learns to deal with them. Set limits and make sure he can not cross them.