Happiness isn’t mysterious. It’s not elusive. In fact, it’s our natural state. When our minds are still, fully present with the here-and-now, and without the mental commentary, then we experience a peace that surpasses understanding. Being unhappy in one area of our life can permeate everything else.

The good news is, we can learn how to be happier. We’re not going to “manifest” happiness or write lists of the good things in our lives.

Instead, we’re going to focus on mastering the “Big things” of happiness. Focusing on one (or all) of these can drastically improve our outlook and overall happiness.

PSYCHOLOGY: Use your negative emotions as “tells”

We’re usually happy when our actions are aligned with are values. In other words, when what we do lines up with what we want.
Also read: How to be Happy: The First Ten Keys to Happiness
 
But what if we don’t know what we want?
Surprisingly, looking at our negative emotions can can uncover what will make us truly happy. Here’s two emotions that can become “tells” for happiness:

• Jealousy. When we deeply envy someone, it’s often an indication that something’s missing in our own lives. I’m not talking about the mild jealousy of people making more money. I mean the deep envy that eats us up inside. Think about what you’re jealous of. Is it their job? The fact that they travel? Listening to jealousy can help you prioritize changes that will make you happy. 
• Guilt. When we feel guilty, it’s often because our actions clash with our values. One way to recognize guilt is through our “white lies.” Have you ever met someone and lied about your job, your hobbies, or something else? These seemingly meaningless fibs indicate that there’s something in our life that we wish were different.
  

Also read: 10 Relationship Stages That All Couples Go Through 
The Mystery of Love-Science: Why Do You Fall in Love?

Don’t compare your place in life to others.

It’s hard and almost everyone does it but this is one of the easiest ways to spiral into unhappiness. We are not cookie cutter material. Each of us has made different choices and arrived at different paths. While jealousy can be a motivator for some people, it’s a trait that never leads to positive outcome.
Things to try to compare yourself to:

• You, 3 months ago. How are you doing since then? What can you improve? What got worse? 
• A favorite character or religious story. How would they handle your situation? What can you learn from them?

CAREERS: Find work you love

How many times have you come home from work and just “vegged out.”
For a lot of us, we spend hours every evening either trying to “decompress” from a long day. Or be waste them venting and complaining.

We know that this isn’t making us happy, but what can we do?
If you can find a Dream Job that challenges you, teaches you great skills, and surrounds you with amazing people, the impact on every area of your life would be huge.

Think about it: You spend 8+ hours a day at work. Maybe more time than you spend at home.

A Dream Job doesn’t have to be something reserved for a lucky few. You can have a rewarding and fulfilling career — even if you don’t know what that looks like yet.
Common career advice is to “find your passion.” How do you do that? What if you don’t know what your passion is? What if you have many “passions”?

RELATIONSHIPS: Meet and spend time with the RIGHT people for you

One of the worst feelings is waiting around on a Friday night, hoping someone will text you with something to do.

I did this for years. It was especially disheartening when I moved to New York City — a city with an awesome nightlife and tons of things to do.

Yet where was I? Sitting in my room watching Netflix instead of out having fun.
I finally realized I needed to be proactive about my relationships if I was going to be in control of my own happiness and have amazing friends.

We all need to be spending time with RIGHT people, who challenge us to try new things and who we can have fun with.
Otherwise we’ll feel bored and stuck doing the same old things year after year.
But where do we find them? And what do you actually say when you meet them?
Also read: How To Live a Better Life: 20 Ways To Be Happy in Life

Write your thoughts down.

This may sound odd but many times we aren’t actually unhappy, but we just have a bazillion thoughts running around in our head. Writing is a simple act that can help clear your mind. You’d be surprised how great you feel once you clean out the cobwebs.
Things to write down:

• Your dreams. A notepad next to your bed will change your life. 
• Places you want to go. Where do you want to travel to? 
• Stories, songs, poems, whatever. Get emo and creative. Don’t edit yourself, just let it flow. 
• Problems you are having. Make a pro/con list. Be analytical and figure out how can you fix that problem. 
• Funny quotes or things you hear that strike you. I have a note file, 18 pages long with quotes. Great memories. 
• The person you want to be. Write down traits you want to have in yourself. Do it everyday.

Being able to keep our minds fully present and still is a skill. It’s actually the state that we were born with. If you’ve ever observed young children, this is the state that they’re in all day long. But through conditioning and cognitive development, we've forgotten how to do this. With practice, however, this skill can become ours again. It’s our natural state, which is an ever-present, effortless happiness. In the end, it's available to all who seek it.